Chocolate covered ants and change

Depending on how you look at it, change is like choloate covered ants or ants with a chocolate centre.

Chocolate covered ants: The chocolate coating is great but then you get to the ant centre! Its good at the start but as things develop you realise that the change might not be all you hoped for.

Ants with a chocolate centre: The outside is yuck but the chocolate centre is good. Maybe you hate change initially but later can see some benefits

I'm the latter of the two and things are changing dramatically in our lives at the moment. But I've been thinking about: what to do when in the middle of change. A Christian (Reinhold Niebuhr, 1892-1971) wrote a great prayer about change, 

God, give us grace to accept with serenity

the things that cannot be changed

Courage to change the things

which should be changed,

and the Wisdom to distinguish

the one from the other!

I think we each have a choice about the situation we are in. We have the choice to accept the change and embrace it or reject what it happening and try to redirect our lives.

We all have a choice, it is up to us as to whether where we are is something we believe is good or whether it is wrong and whether we need to stop and change. 

What changes are you involved in at the moment?

In all the current changes the following things have been helpful for me. Maybe they might be useful to you?

• Recognise change is happening - Acknowledge your feelings and emotions. For me acknowledge that there conflicting emotions: Pain at leaving friends, but excitement at a new adventure.
• Choose how you are going to think - For me think positively about the things I can't change and make a plan for the things I can.
• Pick some goals or actions that you can guide you through the change - I have written out my goals and my plans to meet them. It has helped me decide how to make the change happen and to also to recognise my successes! 
• Find ways to relax - to take your thoughts away from going over it too many times.

A New Dawn

There are times in all our lives of significant change, where one part of our life ends and a new part begins. This is about my current experience.

A New Dawn

I sit here at the end of a day, stopping to reflect,
The day began with dreams, untainted by experience,
There was adventure to be had, waiting to be grasped,
Each moment was precious full of possibilities,

But now here I sit at the end, and the beginning,
With sadness for all that might have been,
With joy in some of the things that were,
Lost in thought, about the part I played,

A new day is about to dawn,
Unknown as to what it will hold,
What of yesterday will I take with me?
What will stay behind in the past?
No answers, only questions,

I travel into the new changed by the past,
Expectant as to what the new day will bring,
Time to let go of yesterday,
And embrace tomorrow.
(By Ian)

When is doing nothing better?

Last week I went out armed with weed killer to rid our drive of weeds. I got them all, went inside and was met by Helen who told me what I had sprayed was Bug killer not Weed killer. Instead of winning the war over the weeds I had helped them to be bug free!

Sometimes it's better to do nothing because doing something makes the situation worse.

In 1955, African-American, Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat for a white person in a country where segregation due to skin colour was normal. Martin Luther King suggested to the African-American residents that they stop using public transport. They did and being the bulk of the city's paying customers it ground the transport system to a halt and in 1956 segregation on transport was brought to an end.


Doing nothing can have dramatic results.

What about on a smaller scale? How would inaction work? For me it would mean biting my tongue rather than arguing with my wife over stupid things. Maybe with friends it would be showing empathy rather than being too quick to give advice. In the work place maybe it would be showing love to the difficult manager rather than speaking against them? Maybe inaction could radically change some areas of our lives.

We all know that being active is important. To speak out, to do good things and to work hard. But when faced with a challenging situation will remaining silent, will stopping, will removing ourselves from the situation be a more effective way of responding?

Have a look at a few things King Solomon (Old Testament Bible) suggests may be effective:

• Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.(Proverbs 17:28)
• Starting a quarrel is like opening a floodgate, so stop before a dispute breaks out. (Proverbs 17:14)
• Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others. (Proverbs 12:15)

Give us GOOD news!

It has been so good to hear all the Olympics stories and hear about athletes overcoming the odds to win a medal or achieve a personal best. The papers are normally full of negative stories but with the Olympics on there have been a few more good ones.

The papers print what people want to read...so we must want all the negative stories? Do we people love to see when things go wrong? Is there some part of us that doesn't want to hear about other people doing well, succeeding?

In the Bible we are reminded to think about good things as these will bring us life: 

"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things" (Philippians 4:8)

What would the world look like if there was a balance in the papers between the positive and negative. If we heard more about people who overcome difficult situations, about people who have cared for others. Would the country, our outlook start to be more positive if what we were thinking about was more positive?

The news readers were saying last night that there has been a buzz around London and the country that people are talking more to each other because people are enjoying something positive together and it has taken our minds off the economy and difficulty with redundancies.

Maybe the Olympics has reminded us that thinking more about people doing well and succeeding is good for our moral, keeps our perspective positive and gives hope.

Giraffe and Us

I was watching a children's tele program about Knowsley safari park with my son and we saw the birth of a Giraffe. Giraffe babies are amazing they just drop out get up and walk. Human babies don't work like that. They come out and cry and it takes them a whole year to walk and ages longer to be independent. We as human parents have a hard job parenting but as I was thinking about it, maybe we have it better this way.

Being a parent brings out the true 'us'. Our children can show us who we truly are. In me that is not always good. I don't always have much patience, I am often unwilling to compromise and don't empathise well. But maybe this is a good thing. Having children shows us those areas we need to sort out. It gives us as people greater opportunity to grow and change these things and to be the best we can be.

Our parenting and example will affect our children and who they will become but they also affect who we become. The challenge our children cause us can spur us on to become all we can be. 

Forgiveness is like glue

When anger rages and frustration builds dividing walls,
When 'self' takes over and voices are raised in passion,
The wounds can be deep and love becomes a distant recollection,

The bonds that tie two together become weak,

Forgiveness is the glue that will bind up the wound,
Forgiveness is what holds imperfect people together as one,
Covering over the hurt and strengthening the ties of love,

Forgiveness is the true expression of love,
A gift offered by a heart that is compassionate and open,
A gift accepted by the humble, one willing to acknowledge the wrong,

From forgiveness pours greater love,
Love flowing from the gratitude of the forgiven,
Blessing both giver and receiver,
Who arise secure bound closer than before.

(By Ian)

Forgiveness is a massive thing, it can transform situations. I have been blessed by the forgiveness of other people and I have experienced something of God's forgiveness in my life and have been changed because of it. This 'poem' is my attempt to put some of that into words! Hope you like it.